Contests

For those of you that missed it, Despair, Inc. recently held their Demotivator® Caption Contest. See screen shot below...



They ended up with over 10,000 entries. My jewels of inspiration accounted for about 1 percent of those. I submitted ideas like...

FINANCIAL PLANNING: Some financial windfalls are unavoidable. Some may suck you dry and tear you to pieces.

FINANCIAL PLANNING: All the planning in the world for the road ahead will not help you weather this storm.

BUCKLE UP: Or not. It won't make much difference at this point.

REALITY: Tell whatever story you want, Dorothy. It won't change the fact that your house just blew away.

KANSAS: Our tourists get blown away.

From the thousands of entries they received, Despair.com selected their top 14 and allowed their newsletter subscribers to vote for their favorite. Alas, none of my gems was deemed worthy enough to make the final cut...

PERSEVERANCE: The courage to ignore the obvious wisdom of turning back.

PERSPECTIVE: It could be worse. You could be heading into a meeting.

ADVERSITY: If it really builds character, prepare for a buttload of moral strength.

HORROR: When the only thing between you and complete disaster is an American-made automobile.

RECRIMINATIONS: There are times when it is particularly unhelpful to be told that if you'd listened to her you wouldn't be in this mess.

OBSTACLES: There are many obstacles on the Road to Success. We only hear about the people who aren't killed by them.

CRISIS: Some problems will never be opportunities. Unless you happen to sell FEMA trailers.

OPTIMISM: Surviving a disaster and your own stupidity may lead to a book deal and a made-for-TV movie about you.

OVERCONFIDENCE: When "I think I can" crosses the line between self-motivation and self-destruction.

ADAPTABILITY: What can seem like a terrible natural disaster can actually be an opportunity to drive a flying car.

LUNACY: Rocks are stupid, but they can't get away from a tornado. So that means you are dumber than a rock.

PRIDE: Having the flesh stripped from your skin by 200 mph winds is a small price to pay for not having to ask for directions.

COURAGE: Those who respond courageously in the face of incredible odds will be remembered forever. In an obituary. As idiots.

OBSTACLES: Obstacles are just failures we haven't met yet.

The PERSEVERANCE entry ultimately won the hearts of the voters, and I'll submit that it was pretty clever. But I thought that at least one of my suggestions was witty enough to be included with the final picks (I especially liked my Dorothy piece). Don't you agree? Sigh........